Have you ever read a novel and wanted to change something that happened in one of the chapters, or the outcome of the story? If you answered yes to this question, then you are in luck! This is your chance to change something from your novel. Think back to what happened at the end of the story (or a specific section of your novel) and ask yourself these questions when rewriting it:
1.) What would you change about the story?
2.) Why would you change it?
3.) How will the change affect the story?
4.) Will it change the plot of the story drastically?
5.) What questions do you have after changing what happened?
A part of the novel I would like to change is in chapter 10. The reason why, is because Sholom had gotten Scarlet Fever and he had been scared and sad thinking he was going to die but Genyek had promised him he wasn't going to die. Sadly he loosened his grip and Jacob had asked if he was sleeping but he wasn't he had died but he didn't suffer. I would change this part because it was extremely sad and I don't think he should have died because it would have been better if he had stayed living in that farm place. I dont think the plot would change drastically because they did not mention his death to much further through the novel. I would ask, would Jacob be happier when his real brother was with him still?
ReplyDeleteThis is the part in the novel I would definitely change! :)
great job but i think he should have lived but not at the farm with jacob would have been better because he would have wanted his brother with him. but great job no spelling or punctuation.
DeleteThanks, and everyone has their opinions right. ;)
DeleteI would change the ending to Jacob died if jacob died it would change the story drastically because in the beginning it talks about jacob as an adult or in the present. I would change it because then it makes you think about what jacob tried to do in life and the beginning just gives it away. it would affect the story because then people would think whats gonna happen next. is jacob gonna make it??? is he gonna die??
ReplyDeleteI think you did a good job but, I have a few edits for you. To start, the second, third, fourth, and fifth time you said Jacob you did not capitialize the J in Jacob also, when you said Jacob died for the first time you should put a comma then say if Jacob died. Another thing is that you did not capitiliaze the first words in your last two sentences. If the story was written the way you said it the story would have never happened becuase Jacob would have never had Marissa because he is dead so then Jacob could not tell the story to Marissa, because Jacob is telling this whole story to Marissa. Good job though.
Delete(REVISED) I would change the ending to" Jacob died" if Jacob died it would change the story drastically because in the beginning it talks about Jacob as an adult or in the present. I would change it because then it makes you think about what Jacob tried to do in life and the beginning just gives it away. it would affect the story because then people would think whats gonna happen next. is jacob gonna make it is he gonna die.
DeleteA part I would change in ch.17 when Yurek ran outside after the uprising and was shot because it was very sad and he should have lived and he would have if he had not run outside I would change it so he listened to his father and stayed inside. I don`t think it would have changed the story drastically and Jacob would not have had to see his friend die. I wonder what would have happened if he did not die?
ReplyDelete@ Granger08
Delete- First sentence doesn't make any sense. I think you should change that.
- First sentence goes on and on. Next time, Use more periods ok?
-Also, tell why would you change the story
Over all, good job!
A part I would change in Jacobs Rescue is in Ch.17 when Yurek ran outside after he heard of the uprising on the radio, he did not listen to his father before running outside when he should have and stayed inside. It was sad because
Deleteto be continued
A part I would change in Jacobs Rescue is in Ch.17 when Yurek ran outside after he heard of the uprising on the radio. He did not listen to his father before running outside when he should have and stayed inside. It was sad because he should have lived and that the Nazis are really mean people. I don`t think it would have changed the story drastically and Jacob would not have had to see his friend die. I wonder what would have happened if he did not die?
DeleteOne thing about the story I would change, is the part near the end when the Roslan's are told by a person at a place were you must go before going to Berlin, Germany that they must give Jacob and David back to their real father. After that they argued with the person a little bit but it was official even if they did not go to Berlin, Germany they still had to give Jacob and David to their real father. I would change the part where they even think about going to Berlin, Germany so then they would have never gone to the agency place were you have to go before going to Berlin, Germany. I would change this because I think it would make the story a bit longer and more interesting instead of just having Jacob and David leave then POP! the story is over. I think it would have turned out a bit better if the story did not end like that. In my opinion if it changed how I said I think that that Mela and Alex will receive the medal for keeping Jacob and David then they will live a good life and it may talk about the future like Jacob, David, Yurek, and Marishka going to school and growing up.
ReplyDeleteI like your re-write of the story although there are quite a few things that I thought about and how your re-write would change the story. This is because if Jacob and David wouldn't have moved back with there Dad then Jacob would have never met the same person to have Marissa. This would mean that the story telling would have never taken place, which means that this book would never have taken place. Next time try to make it so that the story doesn't change very much but otherwise good job. One thing you should add is some commas because a couple of your sentences could use some.
DeleteOverall great job.
One part I would change in Jacob's Rescue was when Yurek got got shot by someone because he was celebrating that the Russians were coming to save them from the cruel and evil germans who want to kill all the jews in germany what I would of liked to happen is this: "The Russians are on there way to germany" said the announcer said on the radio. As everyone was screaming with joy Yurek wanted to go outside just to rub it in the germans faces but of course alex said "No, you could be killed and I can't take that risk if loosing you Yurek" but he did not listen he was too happy so he did anyway. Just as a shot was fired Alex ran outside and pulled Yurek out of the way of the bullet. Just after they came inside just fine but not for long because his mother was furious with so angry she would shoot him herself. As she yelled at him being stupid and not listening to his father, Jacob was sitting on the floor doing math problems in his head trying to ignore all the screaming that was happening right behind him. Alex sat right down next to him and said " What are you doing kiddo." Jacob replied by saying "Just doing math."
ReplyDeleteThat's what I would have liked to happen instead of Yurek being killed. But what would happen if they didn't yell at him would he do it again and was really killed by that shot. This is what I would change in Jacob's Rescue.
Remember to use commas to separate ideas, but be careful not to make your sentences too long because they can become wordy. Also, be sure to use a comma after your transition words.
DeleteIf I could change any part of "Jacobs Rescue" I would change the ending how they find out that Marishka wasn't able to come and visit Jacob and the rest of his family because she was busy. I think that if Marishka was able to come it would have made Jacob happier because she was also part of the story he was explaining to Marissa. They would be able to talk and remember the good things that happened while they were together. I think that the story wouldn't have been changed at all, but make it able for them to see each other again.
ReplyDeleteI liked your answer and the only thing you could change is maybe put a comma in between "ending" and "how" or break it into two sentences. The way you told the way you would like it to be was good and the change you chose was well thought out good job.
DeleteIf I could change any part in "Jacobs Rescue" it would be that after the war Jacob stays with the Roslans. I think if Jacob stayed with the Roslans he would have married Marishka like he promised her. Because they got married his daughter Marissa wouldn’t have been born but, they would have had a little girl of their own. This would completely change the begging of the story (because Jacob is telling the story of his childhood to Marissa at the seader). They could have still named their girl Marissa though. The beginning of the book could be changed to something like:
ReplyDelete"Daddy, can you tell me a bed time story?" asked eight year old Marissa. "Well I don’t know, Marissa...what should the story be about?" replied her father Jacob. "I want to hear the story about how you met mom, daddy" Marissa said with a huge grin on her face. Jacob thought for a moment, Marissa could tell he was trying to figure out where to start by the furrow in his brow. "Well" said Jacob, "It's a long story", "Please! Please! The longest stories are always the best"! Begged Marissa. Jacob looked at his daughter’s hopeful face and decided she was old enough to know the truth about his childhood, leading up to how he met her mother. “Ok then” Jacob began, “If you really want to know-" "I do!" interrupted Marissa excitedly. Jacob smiled at Marissa, "Well, it all began when I was a young boy".....
Then the rest of the story would have continued as the book said (except for the ending).
If I could change the ending of jacobs rescue it would go a little something like this yurek would not have gone out side but he stays inside and listenes to his dad. Jacob and the whole family went in the car and went driving some where were no germans and in the car ride they stoped becaues the engine stalled and all they have is a spare tire and no tools but a nazi was walking down the road shooting at them they ducked behined the car and lisened as the shooting stoped they all looked and he wsas lying dead in the street "an other solder must have taken him out" alex said. they looked again and other solders were taking his supplies and alex was cuirous on what they were doing alex went out there with his hands up and aked what they were doing then they said "we ran out by the germans and now were on are own". Then they fianlly mad it to where they were going.
ReplyDeleteI like how you described your change to the story. I did notice that your work was filled spelling mistakes and capitalization errors. You should go and fix those mistakes. You might also want to rephrase some of your sentences.
DeleteSpelling
- listenes (listens)
- stoped (stopped)
- wsas (was)
- behined (behind)
- solder (soldier)
- aked (asked)
- fianlly (finally)
- mad (made)
If I could change the ending of jacobs rescue it would go a little something like this yurek would not have gone out side but he stays inside and listens to his dad. Jacob and the whole family went in the car and went driving some where were no germans and in the car ride they stopped becaues the engine stalled and all they have is a spare tire and no tools but a nazi was walking down the road shooting at them they ducked behined the car and listened as the shooting stopped they all looked and he was lying dead in the street "an other solder must have taken him out" alex said. they looked again and other soldiers were taking his supplies and alex was cuirous on what they were doing alex went out there with his hands up and aked what they were doing then they said "we ran out by the germans and now were on are own". Then they finally mad it to where they were going.
DeleteI would change the beginning of the story where Jacob meets Alex. If Jacob didn't meet Alex, he would be dead by Nazi soldiers. Alex's family wouldn't move and Yurok would be safe by now. This would really affect the whole story.
ReplyDeleteSo your saying that you would have liked Jacob to die? That's just what it seems to me. Although if that is what you want to change then that's fine. You could do a few more things to make this better:
Delete1) Add more detail to how it would go down and what would happen.
2) Think of way to make it not have such a drastic change in the story.
3) Fix your spelling of Yurek.
If I could change a part of Jacob's Rescue, I would change Yurek's death. Instead of him dying, he could be hit somewhere in the chest where he could have survived. He is immediately rushed to the hospital and remains there for the rest of the war. Like the time when he died, they don't mention him much because he stays at the Hospital. It wouldn't change the story that much because Yurek still isn't really mentioned until the end.
ReplyDeleteIf i had to change anything in that book I would change that Yurek doesn't die I would make it so that Yurek just opens the door and the sniper sees that slight movement of the door and and shoots the door instead of Yurek and yurek runs inside knowing that the war isn't over instead of them knowing that the war isn't over the hard way.
ReplyDeleteI really liked your answer it was good somethings you could change are:
Delete-Capitalize your "I"
-In my opinion change had to could
-Correct the fourth time you spelled Yurek forgot capital "Y"
over all I think you did a good job
If I could change a part in Jacob Rescue, I would change the part where there was the scarlet fever. That disease killed Sholom and made Jacob have a ear infection. So I would like to change it to that the disease never existed. If it never existed, Sholom will still alive be alive, all the brothers would be together and in the end, their father would be able to see all his children. Now wouldn't that be a better ending?
ReplyDeleteIf I could change any part in Jacob's Rescue, I'd change the part were Jacob goes to live with his dad after the war. I didn't really like that part, because Alex really waned to keep Jacob and David, and they loved him. If Jacob had stayed with the Roslans, he would have married Marishka. I think possibly they would've had children and live happily together. But if Jacob stayed with the Roslans, then the start of the story would have changed too, since Jacob didn't have Marissa.
ReplyDeleteIf I could change a part of the story, it would be the death of Yurek. Instead of him getting killed by the Nazi soldier, a Nazi soldier kidnapes Yurek and forces him to work. I would make this change because it gives more suspense and more excitement to the story. The change would affect the story a lot because if Yurek gets captured, Jacob and the others would have to go and rescue him. It would make the book longer and more suspense will be shown. The plot of the story will be changed because if Yurek gets caught, Jacob and the others will probably go and try to rescue Yurek but if that happens someone else might get killed along the way.
ReplyDeleteRedo: I would change the beginning of the story where Jacob meets Alex. What if Jacob brought Hannah with him? If Jacob and Hannah lived together with Alex, Hannah would also have lived too. This would really affect the whole story.
ReplyDeleteyour answer was pretty good. Something I would have done was maybe put in why it would change the story or just add more detail. Good Job
DeleteIf I could change a part of the story Jacobs Rescue I would probably change when Jacob escapes threw a hole and goes to live with the Roslans. I would make Jacobs siblings come with him and come live with the Roslans. I would also change the part when Yurek gets sick with the scarlet fever i would make him servive and not die because then it would show people reading the book that a family of jew's survived that the Nazi's were trying to kill and that you can have a diffrent culture that is hatted but you can still survive.
ReplyDeleteI think that your writing would greatly benefit from shorter and more concise sentences. Don't worry about fitting all your ideas into one long sentence. Use multiple sentences and more transition words to get your points across. Also, remember to capitalize all of your proper nouns (IE jews = Jews) In addition to this point, we only use apostrophes for possessive nouns. Keep up the good work!
DeleteIf i could change something In the book it would be that Yurek does not die at the end from the nazi sniper. Instead maybe he sees the shot right beside him and runs away and all the nazis soldiers chase him. I think that would make more suspence in the story.
ReplyDeleteRe-read my previous response to your comments. Also, all proper nouns must be capitalized (IE nazi = Nazi).
Delete@cat in the hat
ReplyDeleteyou have some errors like i it's I and you should add more detail.